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Why Kati Erwin is the most disappointing Hawaiian of all time


Kati Erwin, my house guest for the next 2 days before we drive to Lake Placid for the U-23/development team camp, is from Oahu. But don't let that fool you! She doesn't even fulfill ANY of the cliches.

She doesn't wear a coconut bra
She doesn't have a pet monkey
She doesn't surf to school
She doesn't use surf lingo
She doesn't even know HOW to surf
She doesn't grow bananas
She doesn't like mangoes
She never rides stingrays
She hasn't had any limbs bitten off by sharks
She doesn't summon anyone with a conch shell
She doesn't put little umbrellas in her drinks
She speaks English
She's not even tanner than I am
She doesn't have gills

Poor Kati...she doesn't even realize how inauthentic a Hawaiian she really is.